You Really Do Create Your Reality
Updated: Dec 2, 2020
“One of the most bizarre premises of quantum theory, which has long fascinated philosophers and physicists alike, states that by the very act of watching, the observer affects the observed reality.”
If we can change reality just by observing it, can you imagine how much it’s influenced by our actions, thoughts, who we are, what we project into the world?
Now, from my experience, it’s not as simple as repeating positive affirmations and automatically achieving your goals. A lot of new age, self help material is telling us otherwise, but nobody mentions how long it took them to eventually achieve “the overnight success”.
We are led to believe that if we just ask the Universe for a perfect partner, they will come our way.
There is some truth to it, but the key is much deeper than that.
Couple of months ago, as I was going through a painful breakup, I told my brother that I believe if I have been acting in a different way, my partner would show up differently. This is not to say we shouldn’t be ourselves in every moment and every action. We should not change ourselves to get others to love us. We should only change because the change is inevitable. That’s how we grow and relationships are the biggest catalyst for growth.
What I am saying is that I needed exactly all these experiences in order to grow and learn the lessons meant for me.
When I started dating him I was already deep on my spiritual path, but I had some unresolved father issues that were buried deep down.
If his words and actions were not triggering my deepest wounds, I would react differently, from a place of consciousness and stability.
Unfortunately we met from a place of fear, projections, he saw me as his mother - oppressor, I saw him as my father - abandoner.
The circle of suffering could never be stopped as we were both just reacting to the other’s words and actions and falling deeper into our own wounding.
Have you ever been with someone and your relationship is of a certain quality and then later you see them with someone else being a completely different person?
My theory is that they might have not changed so much, nor they love that person more than they loved you, if just the energy between two people that comes together and creates a field.
Eckhart Tolle speaks about “pain body” in his book “The New Earth”. Basically the more we interact with someone, especially without too much awareness, the bigger “pain body” we create. This is the reason why these “bodies” are the biggest with our parents, siblings and long term partners.
In my case, my partner and I created “pain bodies” very quickly as we both projected our parents onto one another.
How do you get out of this?
First step is to recognise projections, to recognise our partner for who they are, without putting labels on them.
Then you want to recognise yourself for who you truly are, make an effort to stop identifying with a little girl/boy that was hurt or abandoned long ago.
Then in your interactions, focus on what you are offering, what kind of space are you providing. Celebrate your partner for all the good things, emphasise beauty in them. Don’t try to change them, change yourself. See them as a hero that they are!
When you show up in the world as a grown man/woman, as shiva/shakti the world will show up for you in the same way.
In this sense we do create our own reality. If I act as a little girl trying to manipulate my man to give me what I think I want, he will most probably respond as a little boy, as he feels disempowered and controlled.
If I show up as a goddess, as a pure presence he will rise to the occasion or disappear forever.
It’s time to stop the blame games. Society teaches us all the wrong things. We are accustomed to play the victim of circumstances, always thinking someone else is making us miserable. This is how we give our power away.
The power is in your hands, the way you show up in the world is the way the world will appear for you!
You are the creator, start acting as one!