What to do when you feel stuck?
Updated: May 8
We have all been there at one point or another. No matter your age, status, financial situation etc. Sometimes it will only be one area of our life where we feel stuck, like career, relationship or health. But more often it feels like our whole life is stagnant, nothing works out, we feel lost and unable to progress all together.
I will tell you my own story of how I found myself in a place where everything seemed blocked and doomed to failure.
I spent my 20s being a freelance photographer, running a number of companies, making decent amount of money, being happily married, life was good. Then when I was 28, my spiritual awakening had begun. My world was turned upside down, priorities had changed, as well as ambitions and perceptions of the world that surrounded me. In the beginning it was exciting, things were flowing, I felt I was on the high horse.
After quitting my photography career I became a yoga teacher. It felt amazing sharing knowledge and helping others wake up and transform. Year after year I was pealing layers of ego, masks, fake personality etc. It felt good. Then at the age of 31 I started experimenting with ayahuasca. A dear friend of mine suggested it as a tool to get rid of my “control freak” approach to life. And boy, did it help! It opened the whole new world to me. At the same time I was practicing Kundalini yoga, known as a very intense practice, which moves the energy towards the higher chakras. Very often it will push through the blockages and impurities and the effects are mind blowing.
I became excited about life, seeing it from a different perspective, I was courageous, adventurous, letting go of control, allowing life to flow through me. I felt like I jumped off the cliff but there was no ground to hit, I was flying. These experiences took me further, showing me aspects of myself I haven’t seen before. Emotions that had been bottled up for years, started surfacing. For the first time I dove into jealousy, anger, and unworthiness, just to name a few.
And this is where life became difficult. I was still convinced that I am on the right path. I had support and guidance of my guru. But I was suffering like never before. I went through a difficult divorce, which made me lose faith in “forever”. My relationship with a new man was very challenging (article link). We had endless fights. I lost myself in it. Slowly all the other areas of my life started to feel blocked.
My career was non existent, I was broke, social life went down to nothing, love life was endless suffering and when my health started to deteriorate I knew something had to change. It took me 10 months from that moment until I finally made a change. But I did it.
How to recognise if you are stuck?
For me the best sign is how you wake up in the morning. If you sleep late and have no desire to get out of the bed, something is off. When life flows through you effortlessly, you can’t wait to wake up and start the day.
Another clue are your thoughts and statements. If majority of what you say during the day is complaining and judging, you are stuck.
How to get yourself out of your own trap?
Make a list of all the important areas of your life, you can have as many categories as you want, but make sure not to go too much into details:
1. Living place (apartment, city, country)
2. Relationship (family, partner, friends etc.)
5. Spiritual life
Now underneath each category write everything that doesn’t seem right to you, that could be improved, anything that makes you unhappy/restless/anxious in that area.
After you have done this, check where is it that you have the most troubles, what part of your life brings you the most unhappiness.
Once this is determined, gather a strength and make a change.
I know it sounds scary and possibly unattainable, as you might want a change but don’t know how to do it.
In my own case, I was living on a beautiful tropical island in Asia. After years of being there I started feeling like the island was not able to offer me anything else. I came there to study yoga, I reached the level I was aiming for. The desire to leave and start fresh was growing day by day. I had no idea where I want to move next, but I knew it had to happen. I was meditating on this every day, asking for guidance hoping for the answer on where the life will take me. Coming from Europe originally, the idea of going back to my favourite continent was more and more appealing.
Once the desire and need for a change became so great, the Universe aligned and I set my mind on Spain. From that point on everything was going in the right direction.
I am in Spain now, starting a new life. It feels like the burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel inspired and optimistic. I smile again.
The point is one step in the right direction will open up all the new doors for you and before you know it, your life will start blossoming!
If you feel you are not achieving your highest potential, quit that job you hate, finish or fix a broken relationship, move to your favourite country, you are not a tree, feel free to leave.
Take a leap of faith, jump off that scary cliff called comfort zone. It is a place where dreams are being murdered. Leave what makes you miserable. Be hungry, adventurous, wild! There is nothing to lose, boring every day is always going to be there in case you change your mind and want to go back.
Live a life that gives you goosebumps and puts a smile on your face! Everything else is a waste of precious time.