Cheating
Should it be forgiven?
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Before jumping to divorce or a breakup, it's important to analyse the situation.⠀
Why did your partner cheat?
There are many reasons and only one of them is that they don't care about you and want out of the relationship in which case it's better to end it sooner than later.⠀
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Sometimes people cheat to boost their self esteem. If you have been together for a long time and kind of forgot to cherish and uplift each other, one partner (or both) might feel the need to get a validation outside of the relationship.⠀
In this case, you can sit down and talk it through, make a plan on how to fix it and continue your relationship.⠀
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Another reason is looking for distractions and trying to escape the every day "boredom" or drama of a current relationship. Again, if both partners are willing to work on reigniting the spark, it can be fixed. ⠀
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Some people grew up seeing their parents cheat on each other and even though at the time they considered it awful, they might adopt the same habit as adults. It's not completely their fault, subconsciously they believe this is how long term relationships work, this is how love is supposed to be.⠀
In this case the only solution is "cheater's" willingness to work on their childhood wounds and traumas and to learn new, healthier ways of relating.⠀
For you, if you are in it to win it, and you have a lot of love and patience for your partner, you can help them through the process. ⠀
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If the same behaviour keeps repeating and you don't see any improvement on their end - IT'S TIME TO GO!⠀
When cheating not just continues but it's getting worse and worse each time, these are RED FLAGS and you should save yourself from further suffering, pack your bags and leave.⠀
Especially if they try to blame it on you, which is a clear sign of narcissism.⠀
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The only man that ever cheated on me (that I know of 😆) started with a random girl, next time it was someone from our circles to then top it off with my best friend at the time. And his explanation was that it was a revenge for something I have done.⠀
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You don't want to be in a relationship where conflicts are "sorted" through revenge. Trust me on this one! ⠀
It will never get better if the person doesn't even recognise their toxic behaviour.⠀
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Relationships can be complicated, rocky, challenging but they should still be the safe space where you can grow and drop your masks, reveal yourself completely, surrender and love with an open heart.⠀
They say if at least 60% of your relationship is good, the rest can be seen as a learning curve and the opportunity to grow.
But if you spend 90% of your time together fighting, being anxious, walking on eggshells...
Is it really worth it?⠀
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As I mentioned before it's not your time until it is your time. ⠀
Don't judge yourself for staying in a bad relationship, but for the love of God, keep your awareness high, learn your lessons, burn your karma, otherwise you will be stuck forever in this one or your next partner is going to bring very similar painful experience.⠀
It’s not “their fault”, it is your choice ❤️